The Birth Order Theory, first proposed by Alfred Adler, a contemporary of Freud and Jung, is the familiar but unproven idea that a person’s order of birth in the family has profound impact on their psychological development. As a general overview, the theory is: • First born children – Natural leader, ambitious, responsible • Middle children – Social butterfly, peacekeeper, fairness-obsessed • Youngest children - Free, risk-taker, charming Obviously, this is simplistic and akin to horoscopes … [Read more...]

This past Mother’s Day was the first one I have spent as a foster mother of teenage girls.  Both girls were with their birth mothers for the day and my own children were off being mothers and fathers to their own children.  They remembered me sweetly and I didn’t really feel neglected, but I became even more aware of the complicated relationships we have with our parents, maybe especially daughters to mothers. About 1980, when my girls were 12 and 8 years old, I read “My Mother, … [Read more...]

Driving past a grammar school today I noted the marquee out front said “3/22 Report Cards” and I remembered getting report cards and progress reports in school; for myself and then for my children. In fact, I recently discovered I had old report cards for my kids (and a few for my husband, as well). I think I must have burned my own, since none were in the box I was sorting. I sent them to the kids for Christmas, but I suspect they may not have shared them with their own children, as many of … [Read more...]

Staying in “Your Own Lane:” The Good, the bad, and the ugly As the politics in the world and in our own country get more and more divisive it is so difficult to see any solution or reconciliation between all the factions. I certainly don’t see myself anywhere close to understanding or agreeing with “the opposition.” I hate that I feel real antagonism toward people, who if I didn’t know their politics, I would consider my friends. I also feel antipathy from them that I don’t think has anything … [Read more...]

Another primary election day is upon us and I don’t have a lot of enthusiasm for voting. There are many candidates for Governor of California and most of them I have never heard of. There are a handful of propositions that don’t seem very important to me, and the various candidates for Insurance Commissioner and other offices all sound the same (at least all the Democrats sound the same and all the Republicans sound the same and the other parties don’t sound much different). It is really … [Read more...]

Today Holly asked me two questions, the first was “Do you think it is wrong to end things early?” This surprised me to some extent because she had never mentioned the possibility before and also because just last week the “End of Life Option Act” had been signed by California Governor Jerry Brown. I am sure that she did not know that the California Legislature had approved the measure nor that it had been signed into law. This legislation made California the 5th state to enable physicians to … [Read more...]